Friday, March 28, 2008
In a Fantasy World of Her Own
I have this friend that always thinks very optismistically. sometimes to a point where i do not know if she's really that optismistic, or living in a world of fantasy, and denying the facts of life. Do we really still believe that in this world that there is a happy ending for everyone and they will live happy ever after like those of the fairtales? Wishful thinking, in normal conversations, its like thinking of a perfect outcome for a situation, but how many times does that happen to us? or to the people around us? this kind of positive thinking, or upwards counterfactual thoughts, may give us the motivation to strive towards something, to acheive some goal or let us believe that we can actually do something to change the current situation. but what if we have an exessive level of these thoughts? wouldn't it be bad for us? its like ignoring the the current status, and actually fantasizing that good things are bound to happen? although it is always good to have a positive attitude and being able to change for the better, but we have to consider all the facts and aspects of each situation in order to do not. Not every scenario is a bed of roses. This does not happen in reality anymore. We have to agree to the fact that this world is ugly and dirty, no matter how hard each person hides their ugly side, it'll bound to surface up when a triggering situation arises. to me, wishful thinking is just a form of defense mechanism. its like ignoring the facts and truths that we know, and constantly praying that things will definitely turn out better and everyone will live happily ever after. That does not happen anymore. People wants to live a happy life, but no one is willing to sacrifice or to compromise for that goal. Time and again, we would think that love is self-sacrificial and we would do anything for our loved ones. But when the circumstances forces us to make a decision and choose, too many a times, we just choose to protect ourselves and our families come after us. Is this the Evolutionary Theory that Darwin proposed? aren't we supposed to fight not only for ourselves, but our loved ones and offsprings as well? how does the animalistic side of each of us takes over whenever we feel threatened by others? I come from a christian environment where everything is more or less protected and the teachings taught to us are imprinted into our minds. But when faced with the world, everything seems to blur, because it does not coincide with what we've learnt before. We really have to experience it ourselves in order to make sense of what others taught or told us. I used to be a very optimistic fellow where everything would turn out alright, but now, i'm wary of the things around me and not being able to commit much to anything or anyone anymore. Life is too scary to be placed in an unknown world and live in it.
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Well, there are extremely optimistic people around. While being optimistic is a good thing, it is also true that too much of something may not be beneficial to us, which in the case of your friend, she probably doesn't seem to be in touch enough with reality. Considering that you have Christian views, the idea that there's a happy ending, or 'happily ever after' life for everyone is pretty much debunked by the view that some people will go to Heaven after they die vs. others who perish in Hell in the afterlife. Also in reality, we see evidence of people who end up unhappy at the end of their life (e.g. people who died from violent deaths, unhappy marriages).
Wishful thinking in the form of counterfactual thoughts may or may not be helpful depending on the situation. However, it probably works as a mechanism to strike a balance between our positive and negative views and feelings. Being overly optimistic may be seen as lost of touch with reality but the opposite, which is pessimism or the absence of optimism, can lead to lost of hope in life and in extreme cases, suicide. We know that 'life is a bed of roses' is a myth. Neither has it been said anywhere in the bible that life is a bed of roses (correct me if i'm wrong). According to the bible, we can see that the people whom are written about went through ups and downs in life just like everyone else too. It is our human desire to prescribe only to what is pleasant to us. That's probably why some Christians are 'culture shocked' when they face tough challenges or negative situations in life, since it doesn't fit in the 'life is a bed of roses' idea that they have. In my point of view, it's complacency with life.
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