In a Fantasy World of Her Own

I have this friend that always thinks very optismistically. sometimes to a point where i do not know if she's really that optismistic, or living in a world of fantasy, and denying the facts of life. Do we really still believe that in this world that there is a happy ending for everyone and they will live happy ever after like those of the fairtales? Wishful thinking, in normal conversations, its like thinking of a perfect outcome for a situation, but how many times does that happen to us? or to the people around us? this kind of positive thinking, or upwards counterfactual thoughts, may give us the motivation to strive towards something, to acheive some goal or let us believe that we can actually do something to change the current situation. but what if we have an exessive level of these thoughts? wouldn't it be bad for us? its like ignoring the the current status, and actually fantasizing that good things are bound to happen? although it is always good to have a positive attitude and being able to change for the better, but we have to consider all the facts and aspects of each situation in order to do not. Not every scenario is a bed of roses. This does not happen in reality anymore. We have to agree to the fact that this world is ugly and dirty, no matter how hard each person hides their ugly side, it'll bound to surface up when a triggering situation arises. to me, wishful thinking is just a form of defense mechanism. its like ignoring the facts and truths that we know, and constantly praying that things will definitely turn out better and everyone will live happily ever after. That does not happen anymore. People wants to live a happy life, but no one is willing to sacrifice or to compromise for that goal. Time and again, we would think that love is self-sacrificial and we would do anything for our loved ones. But when the circumstances forces us to make a decision and choose, too many a times, we just choose to protect ourselves and our families come after us. Is this the Evolutionary Theory that Darwin proposed? aren't we supposed to fight not only for ourselves, but our loved ones and offsprings as well? how does the animalistic side of each of us takes over whenever we feel threatened by others? I come from a christian environment where everything is more or less protected and the teachings taught to us are imprinted into our minds. But when faced with the world, everything seems to blur, because it does not coincide with what we've learnt before. We really have to experience it ourselves in order to make sense of what others taught or told us. I used to be a very optimistic fellow where everything would turn out alright, but now, i'm wary of the things around me and not being able to commit much to anything or anyone anymore. Life is too scary to be placed in an unknown world and live in it.

Attitudes and Behaviours

Went for night cycling with my friends on friday, and was sort of observing them periodically. The itinery for the night was to cycle from East Coast Park to Changi Village for supper and return back to ECP. We had a lot of time to do that as we can only reutrn the bikes at 9am. So some of us was cycling leisurely, and some were cruising all the way. I could tell from their faces that some were tired already, but yet still want to cycle with the faster guys. Then when we got back to ECP in the morning around 6.30 and had Macs for breakfast. Some people complained that they were very tired and they had never cycled that much before. And it was those same ppl that were cycling too fast for themselves initially. LoL

Soon after breakfast, a couple said they were leaving, and guess what? The rest of them started to leave 2 by 2 from then on..

From the above outing, we can see there's a bit of social desirability bias in some of my friends. To them, being able to cycle fast and be with the fitter guys seem way cooler than cycling slowly with the others. Even when they know its past their own limits, they still did not slow down and asked for a short break. Why do people want to portray themselves as the same as others. Does it mean that being different from your friends would result in losing them as friends? Or even in the working society, do you blend in with the crowd and do what the romans do in Rome? And what if that clashes with your own behaviour and beliefs? Do you continue to do them and to change your beliefs? or do you have 2 sides of your life and pretending to be a roman in Rome?

Haven't touched on attitudes and behaviour yet, so here is my 2cents worth of thoughts.. :)